Scars
by NiGhT-sTaLkEr13
Summary: Characters: Megatron, Shockwave (G1/IDW/AU) Post-war. Warning: This ficlet contains nudity, mentions of bodily mutilation, suicide, religious aspects and profanity.


Scars.

**Characters: Megatron, Shockwave (G1/IDW)**

Warning: This ficlet contains nudity, mentions of bodily mutilation, suicide, religious aspects and profanity. 

With Shockwave against his side, Megatron let out a soft breath as he felt the warmth of his lover's protoform, his fingers delicately tracing over his mate's shoulder as his arm was behind him. It was that afternoon glowing feel. Where everything just seemed to fade away as the sun was giving off its best heat waves. The perfect time to fall into stasis.  
Giving a silent smirk to himself, his optics trailed down to Shockwave's naked body. It was smooth, the afternoon sun giving it that gorgeous glow. Primus, they'd already gone at it, but the sight of his lover against him was enough to make him want another round of interfacing. Unfortunately, his mate caught the glint in his optics.

"Mmm, don't even think about it," said Shockwave, his accent soft as he gave a light chuckle, looking up to his bond-mate's optics. "I know I'm vulnerable and in your command in such a state, but I'll have you know, a commanding officer doesn't always roll over onto his hands and knees."

"Thinking about it doesn't mean I'm going to pursue it, Shockwave," said the former warlord with a grin. "Besides, you look comfortable, and I wouldn't want to get your antennae in a knot, would I? Not with that controlling commander voice." He snorted at that.

Shockwave leant up onto his palms, his legs moving beneath him. "Excuse me?" he asked, his antennae flickering as Megatron pushed himself up against the pillows behind him. "If you think for one second that I can't sound dangerous, you're in for a nasty surprise," he stated, though yelping as he was tugged down against his mate's lap.

"Really?" asked Megatron, giving a lopsided smirk. "Oh, I know how nasty you can be, Shockwave. But don't think for one second that I don't enjoy hearing you go off at someone. It's very exciting…" he whispered, moving his hands to his mate's shaped hips.

Letting his hands fall to Megatron's masculine stomach, he traced his hands down them, feeling the fresh sweat from their love-making trail beneath his fingertips. Feeling the main scar down the middle, he couldn't help but feel a little turned on. He loved the mech's body, and he loved the scars that showed his previous battles in life. It was sad that the mech was scarred, but it was still an attractive and powerful feature to his lover.  
However, the smoothness beneath the scar soon turned rough, which made him look down to examine where his fingers were touching. What was this? Something new? No, it was old. Definitely old. But how could he have never noticed it before?  
Just above Megatron's cable connection, the paint was rough, like it had been lazily covered with a coat that wasn't originally there. It made his antennae go back in curiosity, his optic looking back to his lover's, who seemed to be watching him awkwardly.  
"You're uneven," he stated, as if it were scientific for the mech to be completely smooth all over. "I've never noticed it before. Which is unusual considering how much I pay attention to this… erm… area," he said, feeling his cheeks flush a little.

Pushing himself up, Megatron sat on the edge of the berth, his hands between his knees. "It's nothing," he said, trying to play it off with a light smile—though knowing it probably wasn't going to mask the problem very well.

Nothing? It certainly wasn't nothing. "Megatron, we've been together long enough for me to know when you're lying," said the violet and ivory mech with a light laugh. "I just worry. I hope it's nothing dangerous, or unhealthy to you. I don't want for you to be infected with something. Considering the area…"

Turning his head to his mate, Megatron arched an optic ridge. "It's not an infection, I assure you. Plus, I think the first thing to get infected if it were sexually based would be my piercing," he said, tracing the lengthy cable to hook the piercing with his pinky finger.

Watching his mate carefully, Shockwave shuffled forward, draping himself over his lover's broad shoulders, his hand touching his chest. "Megatron… if this is something you are ashamed of, you needn't be. You know very well that each and every part of you tells me a wonderful, in-depth and attractive story," he stated, his antennae falling back lightly as he nuzzled into that perfect jaw-line.

Giving a small frown, Megatron returned his head forward, his helm lowering as he let his fingers link in between his knees. "It's just an old scar," he said, knowing very well that the scarred image was still beneath the horrible coat he splashed over it when he was in a deep depression and rage. He didn't want it having to come up, and he certainly didn't want to remember what was painted there against his body. It was stupid. He had been drunk. Pissed off. Emotionally unstable.

"Megatron…" whispered the English-accented mech, slipping himself off and sitting beside the former Decepticon leader. He took his mate's chin into his hand and forced him gently to look at him. "No matter what it is, it's not going to change my perspective on who you are and what I love in you. You could be scarred and mutilated to the point of me not knowing what you looked like and I'd still love you. I'm not that superficial. You should know this… Looks don't matter to me. It's just a bonus that you're… exceedingly attractive."

With lips parting, Megatron was forced to give a soft smile at the words his lover spoke to him. Shockwave was more gorgeous than any 'bot out there and he always thought himself to be nothing when it came to looks. He may not have a humanoid face, but they were Cybertronian, and they didn't _need_ that to be perfect. Shockwave was, and always would be, a saviour to him.  
Deep down, Megatron knew he wasn't a bad looking mech. Actually, he knew he was optic-candy for a lot out there. Hell, he'd been around enough 'bots who admired him in the looks department to base his looks off statistics and know he was a fine looking mech! He was flawed, though, and he knew he was. Looks were deceiving. And it's how he'd lured so many femmes in his time.  
"Alright," he said, standing up and placing his hands behind his helm. "It was a tattoo," he said, giving a frown as Shockwave seemed to perk up at that. "It was stupid. I was… pissed off and over-energised off my aft. Fuck, it was stupid enough that I got my fucking cable pierced when I was a moronic kid, but then this? This shit stays with you forever! And that's why I painted over it…"

Cocking his helm, Shockwave laid himself down, his hands supporting his chin. "You have a tattoo? And you never told me?" he asked. He would have laughed, but he knew this was serious to Megatron, and he would never fall to such a level. It was obviously troubling him in one way or another—certainly for him to paint over it. "May I ask what of?"

With optics widening, Megatron's hands fell down to his lower abdomen. Hell, he hadn't even thought about the tattoo for vorns on end. Why was this so important? Primus, he hated it being there—obviously. It was a way of remembering how stupid he had been, not to mention the theme behind the actual thing.  
"Shockwave… You're not going to like it," he said, still standing. "Plus, I never told you because I just wanted to forget it was there—and I had for a while. Until now… It's not the kind of marking that you can look at and say: 'that's artistic'. It's… fucked up, to be blunt," he stated, feeling rather awkward about the whole situation.

"I'm betting it's not as bad as you're making it out to be," said the former Military Operations Commander as he stood up and walked to his mate. "Megatron, your body is beautiful in every way possible. Whatever is beneath that paint will not make me think different," he stated, his voice soft as he let his hand smooth down to where his mate's were, feeling the rough paint job that covered the mysterious tattoo.

"Promise you won't laugh?" said Megatron. "Or worse, think I'm… fucked up even more than I already am…"

Shockwave gave the mech a soft look, moving closer into his lover. "I would never…"

Giving a hard swallow, Megatron huffed before making his way back over to the berth, sitting down on the edge. "It's… hard to describe without it sounding stupid. It's better seen—even though the whole idea is stupid," he said, beginning to ramble.

Placing his index finger to the curvy, silver lips, Shockwave chuckled softly. "Megatron, it's quite alright. I may be half droid, but I can put two and two together with my 'imagination'."

Arching his optic ridges, Megatron frowned. "I didn't mean it like that," he said, though the violet mech giving another laugh as he clearly knew that. He grunted as the mech sat in his lap, placing an arm around his neck to hang on, his other touching his chest, his spark pulsing beneath it.  
He didn't know why he worried so much. Hell, he knew Shockwave loved and adored him more than anyone else out there. He shouldn't be ashamed—and he knew Shockwave told him that a thousand times. It was just hard to get used to considering his past experiences.  
"Argh, alright. It's… Primus, I was really pissed off at my mother, alright?" he said, as if it would justify what it was. "I can barely remember it happening. I was so fucked off my face from drugs that I figured the pain wouldn't hurt, not to mention over-energised. And when I went in there, all I could think of was how much I wanted to show her I hated her and everything she had done to me."

"Is it your mother?" asked Shockwave, an antennae going flat while the other perked up to create an arched optic look.

"No!" the silver mech immediately yelled. "No. Primus, no! I hated that femme, I sure as Hell didn't want her against my body. Especially not in an area like that," explained the older 'bot. "No, it's of Megatronus. The original… The Fallen," he said, feeling disgusted in himself for letting that bastard be scarred into him. "She pissed me off with originally naming me after him. So I did it to spite her."

Slipping himself from his mate's lap, Shockwave stood up. "Megatron… you thought that was bad?" he asked. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"It says 'Sinner' below it in Ancient Decepticon, and he's licking the symbol of my mother's religion… My religion," finished the silver mech, leaning down and placing his face into his palm. "Fuck, I was so stupid…"

Watching Megatron, Shockwave crouched down, leaning a hand onto his mate's knee. "No. You were just hurt," said Shockwave. "Megatron, you think these markings on you are so negative all of the time. They're not what you think they are. Yes, they bring back memories, but they all tell me a story of who you were and who you are today. How far you've come. You're an achievement, Megatron. Not an embarrassment. Nor should you be ashamed of yourself."  
Shockwave would be lying if he didn't want to see it. The thought of Megatron having a bad arse piercing was enough to turn him on. But a tattoo as well? And one that was as dark as the one he was explaining? Some would simply look at it and think 'oh nice, he's dark'. Not him. He knew the meaning behind the art. He knew the reasons why Megatron would do something like that. And why he would want it at the time, too. Plus, he knew it would look gorgeous beneath that paint.

Leaning back up, Megatron looked towards his former soldier. "You say these things to me, and…" He stopped, shaking his head. "You know what? It doesn't matter. The damn thing is covered up, anyway. I only had it for a few lunar-cycles. In a petty attempt of forgiveness, I bought some touch-up paint and covered the whole thing with it. A rough job, but I was just so ashamed of seeing it against me. Then I promised myself I'd just forget it ever happened..."

"And what about now?" asked Shockwave, standing back up as Megatron did. "Do you still prefer to have it hidden? The only mech to know of it would be me."

Running a hand down his neck, Megatron gave nothing but a shrug, silent for a moment. "I don't know. I've run from everything in my life until you opened my optics, Shockwave. I ran from my fears. My religion. My family… All I had was hate. And sometimes I even ran from that. Primus knew I was terrified of myself when I had no control. Now?" he said, looking towards the mech he was bonded to.  
"Now I fight. For everything. For you, especially. I wouldn't be this strong without you, Shockwave. I'd be nothing but blown to ashes and dust. You stopped me from giving up. That day with that pistol in my hand? I was so ready to give in. I was so ready to press down that damn trigger. And then you? Of all mechs? Of all soldiers in my army… You came back when you didn't have to," he said, lifting his hand to Shockwave's cheek.  
"You stopped me from taking my life. And I thank you so much for that. If I had have pulled that trigger, I wouldn't have shared the wonderful things I have with you. We've lost some things, yes, but we've gained so much. Or I know I have… I am ashamed because I could never be like you, Shockwave. These scars shame me because I worry they disgust you. The mech I love. I'm nothing without you, or your approval…"

Watching as Megatron's optics lowered, Shockwave couldn't help but lean into the mech, his hands moving to the larger hips and grasping his back into a tight embrace. "I adore you more than anything. Every wound to your body is beautiful. You don't need my approval, Megatron," he whispered, nuzzling into the mech's neck. "You've had it for vorns. Endlessly."

Feeling the warm nuzzle, Megatron let his hands wrap around his lover's frame, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek before pulling back out. "If you want me to remove the paint so you can see it, I will. I'd… I'd do anything for you, Shockwave."

Leading Megatron back to the berth, the former commander sat on his lap, his hands moving back down to where the tattoo was covered. "What do you say we remove that paint, and put a better, cleaner coat over it? Just so you won't be bothered by past scars, hmm?" he suggested. "And no one will question what the rough paint job is for."

"And you still get to see it?" smirked Megatron, giving a light chuckle. "Alright, I can deal with that. And if you decide it looks good, I'm willing to keep it. Just for you. Although, I never knew you liked tattoos…"

Leaning his palms against the mech's chest below him, Shockwave gave an innocent look. "I always was a sucker for the bad boys, Megatron. After all, I'm with the ultimate bad boy, aren't I? Hated his parents? Check. Truanted school? Check. Cursing is a second language? Check. A Prince Albert piercing? Check. Tattoo? Check," laughed the violet mech, leaning down to give the mech a kiss.

"Mmm, you forgot bad aft motherfucker who can rock your world in the berth," grinned the silver mech, his fangs showing as he let his hands grasp Shockwave's rump, hearing a soft purr from his lover.

"Yes, I very much like that last one," said Shockwave, his accent soft as he gave out a breathy moan. "I'd like to see this… rocking of my world you speak of."

Letting his middle finger slip between those perfect cheeks, Megatron bit his lower lip as he heard that gorgeous accented voice give off a lovely moan. Shockwave was right. His past would always creep up to bite him on the aft, but as long as he had Shockwave in his life? Nothing could hurt him. Not even his past. Shockwave already knew pretty much everything about him, and yet he still stayed by his side. He didn't know why, but knowing his mate would never give up on him was enough to forget the bad things. What mattered was now. His mate. The both of them—together.  
Maybe scars weren't such a bad thing after all.

**Author's Comment:**

_For all you tattoo commenters, thanks so much for the ideas, it really helped, and I loved some of them. A religious one in particular really inspired this one, from Kali over FB. You have to remember, it couldn't be anything human or Earth-like considering he didn't know about Earth back then. So no other languages, no images of Earth religion et cetera. The tribals was a really nice idea, but to me, tribals aren't very meaningful, and I like tatts to have meaning, especially if it were to be one on Megatron. _

_So here's the truth about the tatt, and some lovely Megatron/Shockwave fluff. I love these two!_


End file.
